waste

I've been taking this environmental biology class this semester where we are learning a lot about how wasteful we are, and what we can do to treat the environment better. For some reason I have been easily swayed by the frenzy. I even went out and bought some organic food. Yea, it is hippie behavior, but if the show fits, I might have to wear the hippie shoes (probably berks).
In light of all of that I have been feeling pretty wasteful myself, but not in an environmental way; in a spiritual one. I've been really empty and dry...i really want more, but i have been wasting myself...
And you know how the Lord does things, leading you to a passage of scripture by "accident," and it speaking to you like a textbook. Well, that's what happened to me. It was all in Isaiah 55.

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come you who have no money, come buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me and eat what is good and your soul ill delight in the richest of fare."

Now that passage keeps going on, but i think i might be up all night writing this if i go any further. Man, sometimes i just don't feel like I deserve such amazingly clean words from the Lord... It was as if the Lord were saying "Stephanie, come to me. I have what will fill you up. Why in the world are you spending your money, time, efforts and worries on things that won't and don't matter? Just cling to me and I will fill you and satisfy you."

And it is true. I have been spending my money, my time, my worries, by SELF on things that aren't worth it. I have been wasting it. Man, that stinks...it stinks to think that I walk around laboring on what is gonna just dry up at the end of the day, it stinks to think that I have been spending my money on things I don't need. Sometimes I just wanna punch myself so maybe I will understand better the things the Lord says over and over...grr (directed to myself)

But the thing is, this is something that I have dealt with ALL year...since i got to GWU I have struggles with my priorities...and i just can't get a hold of it. This is really one of those situations where i really have to allow God to be my strength, b/c i am so weak...so so weak.

Isaiah 55 has so many more words from the Lord that are really alive to me at this time...this season, this week, this day, man, this minute...and i think that's pretty cool. Why in the world God would love me so much to have so much grace to POUR out on me in my struggles. Why would he posses a love that would see that I am wasting the precious life He gave me, but to still hold me in His arms and teach me a little something about who He is. It is truly an amazing love.

YYYi wanna b a spiritual hippie for the Lord